Does the Breed Standard Require a Rape Rack?

Remember when Michael Vick got busted for dog fighting, and they found "rape racks" in his basement?

What's a rape rack?

It's exactly what it sounds like -- a rack to which a female dog is bound while a male dog mounts her from behind.

In the case of Pit Bulls, the rape racks are supposedly necessary because "some females don't want to be mounted by any old male." Imagine!

Of course, a rape rack is not just used on "awkward bitches," is it?

No, it turns out that's it's also used on dogs that are so deformed they cannot even have sex on their own.

Take a look at the picture at top, or the score posted here where this breed-blind fellow has come up with his own version of a rape rack for British Bulldogs.

Of course he doesn't call it a "rape rack" does he?

No, the more politically correct term is "mating cradle."

And why do you need such a thing? Simple: because the British Bulldogs is a complete and utter mess. As I noted in an earlier post:

"The famed English Bull Dog ... is mostly Chinese pug -- a show ring creation with legs so deformed it can barely walk, a jaw so undershot it cannot grab a Frisbee, and with a face so bracycephalic it cannot breathe. Add to these problems a deformed intestinal system (a by-product of chondroplasia or dwarfism) which makes the dog constantly fart, and a pig tail prone to infection, and you have a dog that considers its own death a blessed relief."

But wait, there's more.

Did you know that the Bulldog is now a "Top Ten Breed" in the American Kennel Club?

True!

And for those know-nothings who claim it's only recent "exaggerations" that have led the British Bulldog to be incapable of having sex, giving birth, or actually running across a field, consider this from Rawdon Lee, an authority on bulldogs writing in 1894:

"It is known that time plays grim jokes on historical monuments.

There has probably never been a dirtier joke, however, than the one played on our national symbol, the English Bulldog.... The lunacy of breeding for extreme exaggeration, for extreme foreheads and huge skulls, for totally exaggerated low-slung front legs, for shoulders pointing outwards at almost a right angle, for Bulldogs with a front wider than that of the opposing bull. None of this used to be the case and only recently came into fashion."

So there you have it: the British Bulldog has been a basket case for more than 115 years!

And what has the Kennel Club (either American or British) done about it?

Nothing!

To which I would only ask one question .... Does the breed standard require a rape rack?

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  ** Get Your Michael Vick Rape Rack Here!.