What's the Proper Load for Zombies?

What's the proper load for Zombies?

I'm thinking 12-gauge magnum loads will do, but I want to be sure before I rush out and buy a lot of ammo.

And it looks like I will need a lot of ammo.

You see, the Zombie Apocalypse seems to have started.

The first I heard of it was when a guy in Florida was found eating the face off another guy who was still living. The cops used 9-mils from a Glock to end it, but not before the poor homeless guy lost about 70 percent of his face.

Then, up in New Jersey, a man cut off pieces of his skin and disembowled himself, throwing his intestines on to police officers.

Then, down in Florida again, a doctor spit blood at highway patrolmen after a DUI arrest. 

Then in San Diego, a guy bit his cousin's nose off.

Meawhile, a California judge has determined that a 27-year-old mixed martial arts fighter accused of killing his friend and sparring partner "by ripping his still-beating heart from his chest after gruesomely beating and torturing" him is mentally fit to stand trial.

Back in Texas, San Antonio police say a woman accused of beheading her 3-week-old infant son used a knife and two swords in the attack and ate some of the child's body parts.

Now it appears the Zombie Apocalypse is moving much closer to home.

In Maryland, just yesterday, a guy was caught eating the brains and heart of his former roomate.

The Good News is that the Obama Administration's Center for Disease Control (CDC) has released a public health guide on what to do when the Zombies invade.

THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is called foresight, and it's why we need to re-elect Barack Obama as President.  We don't want to to be like the British who, devoid of guns and common sense have a zombie defense plans that consists of one poster (Keep Calm and Carry On), two packets of crisps, and "How to Speak German Like a Berliner" guide from 1937.  Any question as to why we have had to come over and save them from invasion twice in the last century?
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