WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?

What are the chances that I would burn my left forearm 

badly..(we're talking big scar ) about two weeks ago 

and then tonight badly scrape the right hand about 3" worth 

and then burn right above the scrape on the oven shelf 

about an hour later?

100%

What are the chances that I would offend at least three

customers (jackasses) at the garage sale today?

100%

What are the chances that after the garage sale, 

I would be so hot and tired that I would 

just drop my pants on the kitchen floor

 and start cleaning up in the garage

 sans pants, and then proceed to 

sit on a chair in my underwear in the garage

 and laugh with my SIL for another 90 minutes after 

we had already spent the day together?

100 %

What are the chances that I would be starving at 10pm

 and be too lazy to put my pants back on

 and drive through the Wendy's drive thru, 

and consider just throwing a towel across my lap?

100%

What are the chances I am even lazier than a person

 who would go through a drive thru with a towel as attire, 

and decide to cook a frozen pizza instead?

100 %

When removing that pizza from the oven

 what are the chances that upon burning hand on oven

 I would tilt pizza paddle and drop pizza face down on floor?

100 %

What are the chances that I would invoke the 2 second rule?

What are the chances that I would sit bare thighed

 on a wooden chair to eat fuzzy pizza 

and peel off the first layer of skin 

upon arising?

100%

What are the chances a good bud would find a darling house

 in CT for me under 200,000, 

within 4 hours of my Daughter talking about 

maybe moving to LA post graduation?

100%

What are the chances that this is my last NEVER AGAIN

garage sale? (I'm taking odds on this one :D)

What 

are 

the 

chances 

that I

have incredible

friends 

here in my life in lala land

and here

in blog land?

100%