Sunday, August 24, 2008

The Kennel Club Protects and Preserves Failure



The U.K. Kennel Club is trying to protect and preserve failure -- dog breeds that were created in the last 130 years or so that have simply failed to catch on.

The numbers above, show the number of puppies of select "endangered" breeds that were registered with the Kennel Club last year.

Those of you with an eye might notice the greyhound on the list.

What? The greyhound is NOT endangered -- they are a dime a dozen!

Ah yes, but you are talking about non-registered greyhounds. You are talking about working greyhounds. You are talking about ruffians -- dogs that either hang out at the track all dog long, or else poach their dinner in the fields.

You are not talking about -- sniff, sniff -- pure bred greyhounds. Greyhounds with papers. Dogs with pedigrees. Dogs with enough money that that they do not have to work.

Work is so common.

The Kennel Club is not concerned with common dogs or working dogs. They are concerned with noble dogs. Dogs with pieces of paper. Dogs with registrations.

And with these dogs we have a crisis.

It seems that no one wants a Kennel Club greyhound. If you ask folks about it, everyone says the same thing: the Kennel Club dogs are expensive and complete shit as workers go.

Why buy a poorly made Kennel Club knock-off of the real thing when the real thing is still well made and available anywhere, and can run like the wind?

You wouldn't, and neither would anyone else, it seems.

Much the same story is true for the rest of the dogs on the list. The miserable Glen of Imaal Terrier is a dog far too large to work, and its legs are a bowed mess, as the above picture shows. And let's not talk about the genetic diseases here!

The Skye Terrier is another dog that needs to be pushed off the cliff -- nothing but a dust mop attached to a never-ending veterinary bill.

The Manchester Terrier is a dog that never offered anything special to the world. Any dog can rat. The Manchester is a breed with a distinction without a difference -- a dog dealer's dog if ever there was one.

As for Field Spaniels, are any registered dogs actually found in the field? Apparently not. Are any registered Smooth Collies actually found with a shepherd and his sheep? Apparently not.

Hmmmm. As I recall, people are still shooting birds in the field, and they are still herding sheep. What's up?

I will pretend no expertise on shooting dogs and sheep, but I can tell you that no registered Sealyhams are found in the field, even though there's no shortage of folks digging to fox, badger, groundhog, and raccoon in the U.K., U.S,. Canada and the rest of Europe. The work is still being done, but the heavy-bodied, soft-coated, and over-large show Sealyham is not being asked to do it.

Hmmmmm. . . .

Could the problem be with the Kennel Club standard and the Kennel Club rosettes to ruin system?

Heaven forbid! No!

The problem must be the foreigners!

Those damn foreigners are taking away jobs from British dogs! Or at least that the's train of nonsense being pushed on the good reporters over at The Independent newspaper.

But there is good news says the Kennel Club and the sages at The Independent:


"That most British of British breeds, the bulldog, is going from strength to strength, according to the Kennel Club figures."


Right.

A bow-legged, barely walking, always farting, hardly breathing, skin-disease plagued dog is being heralded as "the most British of British breeds."

And the Kennel Club is celebrating this "achievement?"

Say no more. Which way to the final exit?

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