"The AKC Gazette, their main publication, had less than 40,000 subscribers after more than 100 years in print."
Apparently, Alan Kalter, the new Chairman of the American Kennel Club, is as clueless as the last Chairman of this failing organization.
Kalter writes that the AKC is going to hire an expensive public relations company to put positive notes on Facebook like the recent one which showed "a charming photograph of three Golden Retriever puppies" with the caption “I love my breeder”.
They are paying a lot of money for this kind of Deep Thinking, no doubt
But, of course, that is not all. The new Chairman of the AKC tells us they will also:
Expand our voice to include breeders, dog owners, AKC thought leaders, veterinarians, and AKC’s over 700,000 grassroots followers.
Right. Because preaching to your own choir is how you grow a church.
All of this is quite comical, of course, and comes after the AKC registrations have spiraled into the ground, declining by more than 70% over the last 20 years.
And the AKC has 700,000 grass roots followers? Bullshit. The AKC Gazette, their main publication, had less than 40,000 subscribers after more than 100 years in print.
I have boldly said that the AKC will be out of business entirely by 2025, but I may have been too generous.
If the current AKC Chairman keeps talking, things may auger into the ground even faster than that!
You see, the new Chairman of the AKC has just said that the 95% of all Americans that have owned and loved non-AKC dogs are idiots who have been manipulated by "AR groups".
What's an AR group? That's short for "animal rights."
And, of course, the AKC's claim is a complete lie.
Look around you!
Americans are racing to eat chicken and steaks, swig down milk by the gallon, and huff down three-egg omelettes with extra cheese.
We sit down to turkey, lamb, and roast beef at every holiday that does not involved eating hotdogs and hamburgers until we pass out. This is a nation that lives for an all-you-can-eat shrimp buffet.
Animal rights vegans?
If the "animal rights" crowd controlled anything, we would not have more deer hunters entering the woods every year with a force greater than the COMBINED armies of China, the United States, India, Russia, North Korea, Pakistan, Iran, Turkey, and Vietnam.
If the animal rights crowd controlled anything, we would not have a McDonalds, a KFC, a Five Guys, a Popeyes, and a Chipotle's on every corner.
"If the 'animal rights' crowd controlled anything, we would not have more deer hunters entering America's woods every year with an armed force greater than the COMBINED armies of China, the United States, India, Russia, North Korea, Pakistan, Iran, Turkey, and Vietnam."
The American Kennel Club is simply spinning a lie, and it's not even a very good one. It's a lie that does not pass the laugh test, much less the most cursory bit of drive-by observation.
Go ahead and drive through your own neighborhood. Fast food on every corner, and a sale on steak, chicken or milk advertised in the window of your local grocery store.
Congress spends billions of dollars a year subsidizing meat production, and both Democratic and Republican judges on the Supreme Court spend time together every fall in Maryland duck blinds.
The largest Congressional Caucus is the Sportsman's caucus, which is all about hook and bullet conservation.
Did you drive around your neighborhood? See any "AR" signs? Me neither.
I have also never met anyone while hunting who was a member of HSUS or PeTA or any other bunny hugger group. My name and phone number are in the book. No problem, no hassle, no worries. We are a hunting, beef-eating, and make-no-apologies kind of people.
Yet, no one wants an AKC dog.
And why would they?
The hunters, after all, want dogs that hunt, and the AKC does not produce hunting dogs, does it?
Nope. You know how many points a Golden Retriever gets for work in an AKC show ring? ZERO.
Pet owners want healthy dogs. But the AKC does not care about canine health, does it?
Nope. You know how many points a Golden Retriever gets for health in an AKC show ring? ZERO.
And so people who want healthy pets or serious working dogs are not going to the AKC, because they do not want a dog that cannot hunt nor do they want a dog from folks who care so little about health that no health tests are mandated, and who care so little about quality they will eagerly write paper on anything with four legs.
Oh, you are not that kind of breeder, you say? Well great. But then why are you registering your dogs with the AKC, and why are you supporting an organization that subsidizes every show dog ribbon with the blood of a Misery Puppy? Is a ribbon and a puppy sale worth that much to you?
"The AKC has hired Edelman public relations, the folks who served as professional apologists for Big Tobacco while cigarettes killed 500,000 Americans a year."
It's not hard to figure out why the AKC is going into the toilet. Here are the three big salient points:
- The era of 19th century eugenic theories is 100 years dead. The Bible says "don't fuck your sister" for a reason, and maybe that's a suggestion the AKC should embrace. Closed registries create diseased dogs, not better ones. Everyone with a brain knows it, and it is not closely held information, is it?
- Fraternal orders and "clubs" like the Elks and the Masons are nearly dead. The AKC as a lonely hearts club for the unattractive, unfit, and socially awkward has been replaced by Facebook and instant messaging.
- People want healthy pets for home. The AKC has never offered anything for pet people, and now actually tells them they are evil for not going to ribbon-and-paper chasing show ring breeders rather than trying to save a dog that might soon be gassed in a shelter? Wonderful! There might be some messaging problems there! And as for dogs that are selected and bred for deformity, maybe some people thought that was cute once upon a time, but the era of Midway State Fair Freak Shows is dead. Take a hint.
The AKC is marketing buggy whips in the era of cars; snake oil in the era of science.
And, like past failing businesses that have tried to convince us that toxic sludge is good for you, the American Kennel Club has turned to Edelman public relations, the folks who served as professional apologists for Big Tobacco while cigarettes killed 500,000 Americans a year.
Of course, Edelman is only being hired because Richard Berman's dog-and-pony show (pun intended) is getting a bit long in the tooth.
Is there anyone out there who does not know that the "Center for Consumer Freedom" is not a center, does not represent consumers, and is not about freedom? The Center for Consumer Freedom, as well as its spinoff, HumaneWatch.org are, in fact, little more than paid apologist factories for the beef and chicken industries, puppy millers and the circuses.
To be clear, I have a demonstrated loathing for the Humane Society of the US (look it up!) and for PeTA (look it up!) and I have even defended Barnum and Bailey Circus (look it up!), and poultry producers (look it up!), but you will pardon me if I have never saluted the strange American idea that two liars flinging poo on each other is much of an improvement over one person telling the truth!
So, to get back to it, the AKC is paying big bucks for professional Liars for Hire because their own amateur and low-dollar efforts have not worked out.
And what is the genius idea that the 20-something account executive at Edeleman has come up with? A Facebook picture of Golden Retriever puppies with the caption “I love my breeder”.
So what other ideas will Edelman come up with?
Well, in the past they have paid bloggers to carry lies for Walmart, and they have even attempted to cut out the middle man by directly creating fake blogs or "Flogs." So look for those.
Meanwhile, those of us who actually hunt our dogs and who put Dogs First are accused of being -- what was the slur word again? Oh right. "AR"?
Right. I am "AR".
Come out hunting with me and let's discuss that! I will let you carry the posthole digger.
You will understand if I hold on to the machete and the shovel. You see, I have work to do, and I am firmly of the belief that some things need killing. So come on out and take your chances.